[15g root bark equivalent]
"I journeyed all night, inside my body. Riding a nervous system glitch. After 30-40 minutes of mindfulness I felt a CLICK in my left temple and my body was momentarily possessed with a new life force that my ego identified as not the self. I shivered into heebie-jeebie surrender. Next I felt pressure in a trailing line of points up my left wrist. It felt like it was coming from inside my blood. Welcome to my body plant teacher. He made he presence be known a little awkwardly - this was of course out first formal meeting. This involves getting to know yourself in a completely raw and exposed form.
The iboga spirit is a playful, charming, intelligent critter rattling my body deep within, reverberating out. Schisms of expired pains animating me like a puppet. I shivered in sweaty gratitude. I am safe, I am protected. I feel a deep trust for the ancient plant wisdom. I was hot, almost oxygen depleted, dehydrated and exhausted from very early on. The night has just begun. Letting go of going somewhere, challenging my head space to stay in this, in surrender and trust. The body load is heavy. In a way I have been poisoned, I held it all down for 2 hours, then began to purge. A few more times over the night as my abdomen spasmed in toxicity - iboga clearing out my gut. The aches from within focus on hotspots of tension and burn and boil their way out of me. Mostly my legs, deep in my upper thighs or hips. The heat rises, and burns, and eases and returns.
Now, nearly 20 hours since dosing, I feel euphoric, inspired, alive like a warrior princess and sleepy like an old lion. The aches are transformed into opiate like warmth and love, where once ‘empty voided pockets of energy’ are filled now with light. Whole. The communication happens through the body, where the iboga doctor travels through your brain using your language using your system to speak with you. There is a felt knowing of those thoughts not being from me, just through me.
The visionary aspect wasn’t so colourful, later on in the night it moved into this realm as I moved through the body load and dizziness and into a deeper wave length. Sometimes there were little picture or emoticons to keep the data processing simple, and I felt I could put my say in, see what’s happening. However the information is quick and systematic, and it didn't feel necessary for me to even understand consiously the process, just witness, and it was doing it's work on me. Thought -> reaction -> reaction -> reaction, leads to - DELETE - old pathway eradicated. At a point I heard and felt cracking and popping inside my brain. The violence from within my mind, the words, the pain, the anger were distrubing. I saw the world consumed in greed and it coated the earth in thick oily muck. I saw my mother, I love her. I saw a few images of child me, and I moved through the agony. I had to. The visions were very limited for me, which triggered some frustration due to expectations not being met; attachment's aren't healthy. This really feels like the most integratable, undestandable, human-speaking plant medicine I have experienced.My partner beside me so calm and wise. I love feeling his hand in mine and listening to his guidance. I am now reborn, bright eyed and sensitive to life, so intense.
[IN REFLECTION - ADDED LATER]
I began at sunset, began throwing up 2 hours in- closing my eyes allowed me to overcome the nausea, as with my eyes open I felt sea-sick & triggered by the movement of the trailing lights. I felt very heavy & rough for the first few hours, felt hot & tired for most of the night with almost constant shaking & confusion over being hot or cold. I felt more able to function by sunrise however very exhausted, with light yoga, meditation, and a restful & restless day to follow - the nausea & trailing lights continued for 24 hours, lessening over time - chamomile, GABA & theanine allowed me to sleep by 24 hours after dosing. I felt raw and emotional on day 2, 3 & 4 post-iboga.
For days, weeks after this I felt the spirit with me, slowly feeding me, and leaving me - I felt very euphoric, clear & full of purpose - obvious anti-depressant qualities. The physical pains fom my hips have not returned at this point, maybe months on - I have taken only positive experiences from this to grow with. There is more work to be done."