[12g root bark equivalent]
After an epic night, I’ve bounced back quite quickly. No residual trails, no nausea, full appetite. Feeling tired, yet nurtured, wrapped in a blanket of warm bliss. First time I’ve had a flood without my moon; the journey was interesting. It made a presence quite quickly, but took a while to come on. Luring me into a gentle daze. I felt trembles, I felt fear and uncomfortably, I heard noisey voices, some weren’t mine, cheeky laughter that wasn’t mine. Iboga is a trickster joking with me.
It all just disappeared into the night, so fleeting. Less defragging on a freshly formatted mind/body matrix it seems. I saw visions quite clearly, any face I could bring to my mind. So rapidly each memory with them. I sent my ex healing love and gratitude. It was easy to be loving to myself. No nasty self dialogue. Lots of love. I self soothed a lot by rubbing my chest and whispering love to my body. My partner was with me a lot, running along the beach, his big smile emerging from the ether like star wars credits.
I felt the pain of my mum calling me up crying, back then long ago. It brought me tears. I saw memories of childhood that easily explained why I am me, how I have learned to put others (my dad firstly) before me, and my needs second. I could see how I saw the feminine (mum firstly) as weak and the masculine (dad) to be feared, situationally, circumstantially.
I saw beautiful images of animals that would quickly rot into death and be torn apart in hunger. Images of earth dying horrifically. It would shock me into a nervous system glitch and I would close my minds eye and shake the images away. I think iboga was teaching me to not have bias. To love equally the life and the death. Sharing with me earth knowledge to heal our home.
~ Island journey