[2 weeks post-iboga]
“Everything has been great. It has been a smooth transition back into my work life from holidays and the iboga journey. The sense of calm and renewed purpose has persisted. I have not had a cigarette since (a day before the retreat) when I met you both prior to the journey. I have not introduced nicotine into my body via patches or other delivery methods since that day. I am still amazed that I have not had any serious cravings or episodes related to the cessation of this addictive habit. It speaks to the true power of iboga. I am in awe.
Personally I have continued on the path of healthy diet and healthy habits of the mind and body. I have been busy with my paintings and photography in my free time. The normal frustrations of working in a dysfunctional management system of school bureaucracy seem quite petty and beyond my control or interest. I focus on the teaching and leave the rest to others. I am just thankful to have a good job with excellent compensation and loads of holiday time. I certainly feel very grounded and in touch with what is important for my children’s happiness and my own. I am certainly putting a lot more energy into improving my home life and relationships than I was before.
Through both sessions with iboga I have been able to release the feelings of guilt, attachment and obsession with trying to right the wrongs. I do still get the musings of my mind from time to time, but my self has learned to recognize and accept the tactics of the mind to regain control over my true self. So I listen to the mind like a little child throwing a tantrum and like the calm parent who knows that patience and kindness is the only way to soothe the child that is not getting its desires satisfied. It is a unique and new perspective. I frequently tell myself.... I am not my mind. I am working with a friend doing a lot of yoga and breathing as well.
I have not noticed any negative impacts from my experiences and there have not been any disruptions to my sleep. Everything is normal.
I feel like I have come a long ways since the our first conversations back in October and November. It was a real low point for me in so many areas and I look back on the decision to first go to Holland and then continue with another session within six weeks as a turning point in life for me. I want to thank you and Tim both for the care, kindness and support in allowing me to push the limits a bit with regard to the dosage. It allowed me to really penetrate through years and many layers of psychological trauma and unhealthy coping mechanisms. My first session with iboga showed me just how deep I needed to go to dislodge the negative thinking and self hate that had permeated my mind. I feel that the session with you enabled me to crack through those mental layers of psychological sediment with a super charged jackhammer and smash it all to bits before symbolically washing it all away in the sacred spring.
One major difference with your program compared to the experience in Holland was the after care. The aftercare program you and Tim provided raised the level of healing and preparation to reintegrate to a new level for me. The massages, the time with the sound-healer and the visit to the spring were perfect. The location and setting of the villa was perfect. I felt so nurtured and looked after in the delicate condition I was in after the hard work undertaken on my journey. Did I mention how crucial the massages were? Yes we are here to work with the plant, but the aftercare program in place was truly special. Make sure to continue to make this a central part of the treatments that you offer. The small size of the group was also a major factor in the overall success. It was very intimate and a safe place to share.
Thank you for having me. Thank you for doing the good work of healing those in need. I will certainly recommend you and Tim to others. I will take the next six months to see where this new path takes me with hopes of returning to see you in the summer months.”
~ Manta Ray